Snow pillows support my weary head,
and ice sheets cover my frozen bed.
Just an ice block away is our local store, but I’m finding it hard to step out of the door.
There’s no central heating, and no flushing loos, just white frosted windows with cold arctic views.
The footprints outside won’t last very long, one minute there, the next minute gone.
There’s nothing built here that’s designed to stay, that’s why this hotel will soon melt away.
But when that day comes and new hopes arise, I hope I will be sitting under sunnier skies.
THE END
I'd like a packet of monster munch, my wife had said to me, and beef is the only flavour that I really fancy.
They come in a purple packet, you'll see them on the shelf, make sure you get the right ones though or I'll have to go myself.
So off to the shop, I did go, with what she said in mind, and asked the shop assistant if she could be so kind.
I didn't bring my glasses you see, it's monster munch she wants, they're in a purple packet and I'm buying them for her lunch.
She walked with me down the aisle and pointed to the shelf. Look there they are on the second row down, feel free to help yourself.
I grabbed two bags of the purple ones and took them to the till, they cost me two pounds thirty as they were on an offer still.
Having paid for them I left the shop, my mission now complete. I took them back to where we sat so she could begin to eat.
But these are pickled onion ones, I wanted beef, she said, but darling you said purple bags you must have been misled.
I can't eat pickled onions, they'll make me very ill, so I took them back and asked the girl who was standing behind the till.
Could I swap these pickled onion ones for the flavour beef instead?
That shouldn't be a problem, sir. Have you got your receipt she said.
I don't think I was given one. I paid and left the shop.
Then sorry sir but with no receipt, I can't allow the swap. So I paid for two more packets, after checking they were beef, The only two remaining, much to my relief.
The moral of this story is to know your Monster Munch. They come in different coloured bags when choosing them for your lunch.
Roast beef is in a yellow bag, the hot ones come in red. Pickled onions come in purple bags, as I think we've already said.
Don't make the same mistake as me by listening to a hunch.
Make sure you read the packet well before choosing Monster Munch.
THE END
My meeting is at Waterloo, I hope that I’m not late.
As the clock struck one, I began to run towards the closing gate.
You’ll miss this train, if your not quick, the sniggering guard had said
So I ran towards the awaiting train, then fell and banged my head.
The guard looked down and began to frown and then he waved his flag.
I must admit, right there and then, I nearly lost my rag.
The driver who had seen the flag had put the train in gear,
and as I looked up at the guard I’m sure I saw him sneer.
The train doors slammed, the whistle blew and the train got on its way.
I missed that one and the next one too, it was clearly not my day.
I cancelled my appointment, and got my money back
but no thanks to that sneering guard who deserves to get the sack.
Some two weeks later I tried again but this time the strikes were on,
so I knew right then, that any chance of my rendezvous had gone.
I will never travel by train again, nor meet at Waterloo
In fact I've torn my railcard up, a thing I shall never renew.
THE END
Once it was a most powerful force encircling our planet as a natural resource.
From the smallest of beginnings to a raging sea, that is the rain that now falls upon me.
THE END